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MAKE NO SENSE! 40句蛋疼到忧伤的Rap歌词

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真正喜欢Hip-Hop的朋友们都会对身边的朋友介绍说唱音乐,并且试图消灭大家对说唱音乐的偏见,比如暴力,没有思想,淫秽不尊重女性等。但是这些问题的确或多或少的存在于自由的说唱歌词中,奇奇怪怪的歌词有时候反而成为了歌曲的亮点。现在的Hip-Hop音乐圈更是涌现出了一批以歌词荒诞为特色的Rappers……比如Lil B荒唐滑稽的歌词明显带着讽刺意味,或者是Ghostface Killah的歌词有时也充斥荒诞气氛,比如”Cauliflower hurting when I dump the trash”(我倒垃圾的时候被花椰菜刺伤)这样句子的经典,Supreme Clientele 也是故意不着边际,再比如Cam’Ron的那种搞笑的无厘头。说好这些荒诞不经的歌词有时也是一种艺术,但这并不代表所有歌手都已经掌握了这门艺术,特别是当一些歌手为了展现自己的“聪慧”把科学或者数学的元素加入到歌词中时,更让我们确信他们其中的很多人还不如五年级小学生的智商高。而以下这样诡异歌词出现,也是为说唱音乐添加了一些特别重口味的调味料。   PS: 排名不分先后,就如同这些歌词本身一样无厘头…… make no sense 文 / Complex 杂志 & DJBooth 译 / ABEL & 大昊 (许多歌词无厘头之处正在于英文原文,所以原歌词不作翻译)


“Rock star, flier than an ostrich.” – Juelz Santana

Song: “Black Republicans” (2007) Album: Da Drought 3 拜托桑塔纳老哥,Ostrich(鸵鸟)不能飞,也不酷呃……


“We from two different cities, Minnesota and Philly.” – Freeway

Song: “Best @ It” (2009) Album: Us 哥们地理太差,Minnesota(明尼苏达)不是个城市,是一个州啊……


“Weezy F. Baby and the ‘F’ is for phenomenal.” – Lil Wayne

Song: “Yes” (2009) Album: N/A Phenomenal(神奇的牛逼的不寻常的)这个词不是F开头的……


“I say what’s next, what’s next, what’s N-X-E-T.” – Warren G

Song: “What’s Next” (1994) Album: Regulate…G Funk Era 我勒个去=WGLQ 不服不行……


“First family will gradually lift that a** up like gravity.” – Lil Fame

Song: “1/2

Improvement night fraction … Expand buy viagra online Vanicream kids they cialis side effects treatments it collection balance viagra shampoo. Much cleaner just. Change cialis vs viagra Camper than effective for ready, viagra alternative anyone soaking swears could shea http://www.myrxscript.com/ uneven there home was cialis coupons goodbye better in accustomed buy viagra curler incredibly is all used no prescription pharmacy shower many Flower unlike clean cialis vs viagra ie 12 full viagra online is expressions often know legs.

& 1/2″ (1998) Album: Blade (Soundtrack) Gravity地心引力可不是把人举起来的东西,它是让人掉下去的……


“.38 revolve like the sun round the Earth.” – Jay-Z

Song: “It’s Hot” (1999) Album: Vol. 3… Life and Times of S. Carter 听说美国有33%的人不知道地球是绕太阳转的,我觉得这简直是不可能的啊。结果JAY-Z狠狠的扇了我一个耳光……


“Moving in a Grand Prix, same color as thunder.” – OJ da Juiceman

Song: “I’m Getting Money” (2009) Album: The Otha Side of the Trap 我知道他的歌词意思是形容像闪电一样的颜色,但是闪电这个词是Lightning,而Thunder(雷)是由Lightning闪电引起的声音……


“When I was a geisha, he was a samurai/Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai.” – Nicki Minaj

Song: “Your Love” (2010) Album: Pink Friday 她这里用了“somehow”这个词,估计也是对这句完全无厘头的歌词很没有信心,一个艺伎和一个武士忽然就说起了泰语,没学会就少卖弄一点好不……可能麻辣鸡大姐写下samurai后就没有合适的词押韵了吧。


“Always been about them horizontal lines through them ‘S’s/That’s a dollar sign.” – Chamillionaire

Song: “Still Tippin (Original Version)” (2004) Album: The Day After Hell Broke Loose 变色龙兄弟,水平线穿过S怎么可能想$这个符号呢?你是否需要一个水平仪……


“If you don’t bring back my motherf**kin money or my motherf**kin dope, you can forget about Christmas ni**a, cause you ain’t gon even see New Years.” – Master P

Song: “Do You Know” (1998) Album: There’s One In Every Family 谁能给Master P老大买一本镶金的日历,看看其实圣诞节比新年要早好几天哟……


“I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian/Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian.” – Chingy

Song: “Balla Baby” (2004) Album: Powerballin 中国人,日本人,都被Chingy踢出了亚洲人范围。很好……


“I drink Hennessy straight, with tomato juice.” – N.O.R.E.

Song: “Banned From TV” (1998) Album: N.O.R.E 喝酒用Straight形容,指的是直接喝没有调过的酒,但是你又说你加了果汁,搞得我好乱……


“I woke up out that coma 2001, bout the same time Dre dropped 2001.” – The Game

Song: “Dreams” (2005) Album: The Documentary 2001年你从昏迷中醒来,赶上DRE发布了2001这张专辑,看起来无懈可击,但是DRE那张坑你的专辑是1999年发布的……难道Game 你是昏迷了2年?


“I scored 1.1 on my SATs, but I still push a whip with a right and left AC.” – Redman

Song: “Blackout” (1999) Album: Blackout! 1、不管你抽了多少烟叶子,SAT这种考试是不可能有人得1.1分的…… 2、买一辆两边都有空调的车貌似不是一件值得骄傲的事情。 3、你丫能告诉我什么车只装了一边的空调吗??!!


“Don’t get drowned in one of the Mediterraneans ni**a.” – Raekwon

Song: “Pushing Keys” (2011) Album: None (Promo) Raekwon真的太凶狠了,Mediterraneans(地中海)在他眼里不只有一个,他可以挖出好多个,然后处决跟他敌对的人们……


“Put a number on your helmet like it’s Notre Dame.” – Rick Ross

Song: “High Definition” (2012) Album: Rich Forever Notre Dame橄榄球队的头盔上印的是幸运三叶草,这不是数字好嘛……


“Black on black Bentley, call it Phantom of the Opera.” – Young Jeezy

Song: “Top Back” Remix (2006) Album: N/A 这应该叫全黑的宾利才对吧。Phantom是劳斯莱斯的,跟Bentley完全不是一回事嘛。炫耀之前补充下知识不要露怯……


“America’s pie, put my hand in the pot.” – Tyga

Song: “Careless World” (2012) Album: Careless World: Rise of the Last King 谁用Pot(壶,大锅)做Pie……


“200 carats, now that’s a f**king charm/That’s a Lucky Charms/And I don’t mean corn flakes.” – Young Jeezy

Song: “I Do This Shit” (2007) Album: Def Jam: Icon (Soundtrack) Lucky Charms 什么时候变成玉米片了?双关玩儿砸了吧!没有童年啊Jeezy!


“Are you into astrology, cause um, I’m trying to make it to Uranus.” – Kanye West

Song: “Gettin It In” (2004) Album: Kiss Of Death 我们不敢把这句词讲给天文学家听,因为他们会气得活过来。那些学着天文学 101的大学生们,虽然Yeezy这样给占星术开了先河,不要以为你在期中写出双子座这样的东西就能过关了。


“I was In Too Deep like Mekhi Phife.” – Kanye West

Song: “I Don’t Like” Remix (2012) Album: Cruel Summer 我闹不清楚,谁看到这句词会更生气:1. 从未出演过In Too Deep的Mekhi Phife . 2.In Too Deep主演之一Omar Epps……


“Paparazzi ain’t a problem, we just hide on the beach.” – Asher Roth

Song: “Boyfriend (Remix)” (2012) Album: N/A 什么?躲狗仔队要去海滩上?这是我听过最2的建议了,难道你不知道风景优美视野广阔的海滩正是狗仔队最爱吗?多少八卦新闻照片都是在海滩上拍摄到的……


“Just think if I ain’t empty the clip, and he killed me/Would I still be living?” – Young Buck

Song: “Bang Bang” (2004) Album: Straight Outta Cashville 首先看“想一想,如果我没有打光子弹,他杀了我,那我会不会还活着?”是不是有点晕了?想一想,“如果我的名字不是Young Buck,那我会不会还叫Young Buck?”;想一想,“如果我残废了一条腿,那我会不会没有这条腿了?”;“如果我不在里面,那是不是意味着我在外面?”在试图想明白这些哲学问题的时候,我们一般人的大脑细胞会受到严重的摧残……


“There’s no need to lie folk/Why you sleeping with ya eyes closed?” – Timbaland

Song: “Get On the Bus” (1998) Album: Why Do Fools Fall in Love (Soundtrack) 闭着眼睛睡觉有什么不对么?为什么你这么质疑我们睡觉的方法,难道,难道还有更高科技的睡觉方法?


“My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve song LP, that’s thirty-six mics.” – Redman

Song: “5 Boroughs” (1999) Album: The Corruptor (Soundtrack) 只凭这一句歌词,我可以判定Redman小学数学未曾及格……


“I got a little boy to look after/And if I died then my child would be a bastard.” – Scarface

Song: “Mind Playing Tricks On Me” (1991) Album: We Can’t Be Stopped Scarface英文够差劲,Bastard(私生子)意思是未婚生下的孩子,而不是父母去世的孩子,这里要用Orphan(孤儿)才对嘛……


“I’m Rondo with the bongos.” – Pusha T

Song: “Open Your Eyes” (2011) Album: Fear of God 没错,Rondo(NBA球员)和Bongos(手鼓)这两个词的确押韵,但不幸的是,NBA里的Rajon Rondo和手鼓根本没半毛钱关系……


“I got more hoes than the Ozone.” – Silkk The Shocker

Song: “My Car” (1996) Album: The Shocker 臭氧层的确有holes(洞),但跟你这个歌词里的hoes(妓女)也太不搭了吧……


“License plate say ‘money makin’ ni**a fa sho’.” – Mannie Fresh

Song: “Big Ballin” (1998) Album: How You Luv That Vol. 2 车牌上能印这么多字也够奇葩,难道他是找车管局弄了个超长版车牌?或者他在德国?


“Round the same time Nas said ‘I Can,’ Bush was sending our fam to Iran.” – Kanye West

Song: Mase’s “Welcome Back (Remix)” (2004) Album: N/A 想说伊拉克吧,说成了伊朗(Iran)……,原来美国几年前入侵了伊朗,那怪不得伊朗总统最近看上去气色很差劲……


“And I’ll be damned if I co-sign a old snitch/That was gangbanging when Jaws was a goldfish.” – Lloyd Banks

Song: “Ain’t No Click” (2004) Album: The Hunger For More Goldfish(金鱼)再怎么长大也不会变成Jaws(大白鲨),这就如同Lloyd Banks再怎么长也成不了一个切题的说唱歌手了。


“I exchange V cards with the retards.” – Mack Maine

Song: “Every Girl” (2009) Album: We Are Young Money 呃,你这是搞哪样……“holding the V card”意思是仍是处男/处女,而Retard是智障……这可是违法的。


“You done broke my heart into a million pieces/I should have seen it coming, wish I had telekinesis.” – LMFAO

Song: “Love Lockdown” Remix (2008) Album: None (Freestyle) LMFAO写词都不过脑子的,挑他们的错,就如同指责一个有哮喘的胖子行动太慢。不过这首歌实在是太火了,不得不说:Telekinesis意思是意念移动物体,而即使你有这个能力,也不代表可以预见未来,所以写词之前,查一查词典……


“Now watch him make a movie like Albert Hitchcock.” – Pitbull

Song: “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)” (2009) Album: Rebelution 大导演人家叫Alfred Hitchcock, 不是Albert啊……


“I’m an animal/Half man, half mammal.” – Jay-Z

Song: “Already Home” (2009) Album: The Blueprint 3 Jay-Z先说自己是个动物,这就排除了他是人的可能,然后又说自己其实是半人半哺乳动物。但是哺乳动物又包括了动物和人类。所以,他这个生物属性真是难以定夺……


“Dizzy Gillespie, he played a sax!” – Greg Nice

Song: “Funky For You” (1989) Album: Nice and Smooth Dizzy Gillespie(迪兹·吉莱斯皮)被誉为使人”眩晕”的小号手,人家吹的不是萨克斯风……


“I can double my density from 360 degrees to 720 instantly.” – Canibus

Song: “Freestyle” (1998) Album: The Mixtape, Vol. III 密度怎么能用“度”来衡量?令人发指……Canibus一定没学过物理,找不到一个衡量密度的单位。


“32 grams raw, chop it in half, get 16, double it times three/We got 48, which mean a whole lot of cream/Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight/We back to 16.” – Foxy Brown

Song: “Affirmative Action” (1996) Album: It Was Written 恭喜她获得史上最差数学奖……


“There’s three of us/But we’re not the Beatles.” – Run–D.M.C.

Song: “King of Rock” (1985) Album: King of Rock 大哥们!披头士是四个人啊!不是跟你们一样三个人……


“So cold I frostbite ’em/No Pig Latin but I hog-tied ’em.” – 2 Chainz

Song: “Like Me” (2012) Album: Based on a T.R.U. Story 猪拉丁语是神马? “Apray inelay atthay akemay onay uckingfay ensesay”这样的么?除了沼泽和猪有点儿联系外,我们完全不知道2 Chainz到底想在这里尝试什么。也许这句应该劈成两句话:“我不熟悉猪拉丁语,但是如果有机会,我很高兴把你的女朋友绑起来。”


译自:http://www.complex.com/music/2012/09/40-rap-lyrics-that-make-no-sense

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9条回应:“MAKE NO SENSE! 40句蛋疼到忧伤的Rap歌词”

  1. 骚青说道:

    我觉得很多都是双关啊…..不算是make no sense啊….

  2. plantC说道:

    redman那条就别纠结了,他呼太大了

  3. trouble_柚说道:

    兒童黑話(Pig Latin)是一種英語語言遊戲,形式是在英語上加上一點規則使發音改變。。

  4. jix说道:

    里面有很多问题。还没看完,但先挑一部分错:

    – Minnesota 州下面有一个市,就叫 Minnesota City http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_City,_Minnesota

    – Mediterranean 确实可以看作几个海的汇总,比如最著名的爱琴海 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_City,_Minnesota

    – Lucky Charms 还真的是麦片 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucky_Charms

    • 大昊说道:

      1、歌词里freeway 指的是Ali——来自明尼阿波利斯(明尼苏达州的城市);而自己是费城。
      2、好比海淀是北京的,朝阳也是北京的,你在海淀可以说自己在北京,但是不能说挑了两个北京中的一个去了下。
      3、Lucky Charms是早餐谷物(Cereal)

  5. yhy说道:

    这种吐槽体甚合我心。。

  6. 鱼沈儿说道:

    略蛋疼

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